# 19

back in primary school

some of the students call me ana

i don't know why they called me ana in the first place

then people just called me farhanah or farhana

then during my fourth former in secondary school

some of the friends called me paa

simply because

my face looks like one of their friend whom the name is farah (nick paah)

lots of people having the name that sounds similar

the continue on calling me paa

my mum and dad called me kakak sometimes

farhana

or even cik mek

my siblings called me angah/che ngah

before i forget

some of my patients do called me fara or farah

idk y

it's kind of weird actually

but then

i'm ok with it

:)

# 13

to whom it may concern

i don't know why you did that to me

frankly speaking

i never knew if i done you wrong

i never thought of something bad upon you

and i thought you are unique

i respected you a lot before this

but

honestly

after what had happen between us

i feel so sad

i never thought that you can do this to me

for the first time you did it

i still can stand myself from thinking something bad

when it come to the second time

i am shocked

and even i am hurt

i still telling myself not to hate you

and the third incidence really makes it inevitable

yes you!

the hatred is inevitable

i really wanted to know so badly why did you do this to me

where did i go wrong?

where did i do wrong?

you tell me

my respect to you also fade as these incidence happen

how i wish i never see you in the first place

how i wish that person was there in the first place

how i wish i didn't cry in the first place

how i wish i can bear the pain myself in the first place

so that the first incidence never happen in the first place

so that i still can show some respect to you

so that i am neutral with you

so that i am not hating you this much

i am sorry for hating you

but

i am merely a human being

i have feelings and emotions

and your actions are way too mean for a very-pampered-21-years-old-me

sorry again

how i wish i can forgive and forget things

# 12

blog is a medium

and i made one for me to write

to express what i think

to say what i want

and

to ease my cramp mind

its a meditation for me (kind of la)

# 11

luahan

sometimes when i sit back and think

i kind of feel that it's quite tough to face these kind of things

adakah dental students u lain juga begini??

i mean do they always got lots of papers in a day continuously?

do this thing actually help us in managing our stress in working time later on?

this mid semester exam was the most horror exam experience

what do you expect me to say

it starts with community dentistry and behavioural science and oral health

ok la tu

the exams was before mid sem break

boleh tahan lagi

but after the break

it was like dilanda garuda

on the first day- monday

4 subjects (conservative dentistry, prosthodontics, orthodontics and paediatric dentistry)

the second day- tuesday

6 subjects (oral pathology oral medicine, diagnostic imaging, oral maxillofacial surgery, periodontology, general surgery and general medicine)

the so called last day- wednesday

5 papers (oral maxillofacial surgery, periodontology, diagnostic imaging, orthodontics and paediatric dentistry)

and the week after- wednesday

the last paper for real oral pathology oral medicine

sometimes rasa cam tak mampu je

plus dengan kemalasan

tambah dengan tiredness

rasa cam dah nak tersepuk kat lantai

but

if others can do

why can't i do the same?

ya Allah

berilah ketabahan dan kesabaran untuk berdepan dengan ujian dunia ini

hidup dan matikan saya dalam iman

amin

email

kalau bukak yahoomail je mesti rasa cam nak marah

rasa cam nak maki-maki

sebab aku mmg la terlalu amat sgt benci email dr yahoogroup pandan

afaik kita semua ni dak dental and medical

tak boleh ke nak berfikir ngan lebih baik

kalau tak boleh, takde faedah la Allah bagi kite akal fikiran

dulu isu mesin basuh

sorry to say

tp sengal

korang hanya memenuhkan inbox org ramai ngan benda2 yg tak penting

pastu skang ni isu email address pun

pakat nak menyalak, terpekik, terlolong

kan senang kalau just mintak balik kat students email terbaru yg lebih professional

tak payah mcm org gila nak marah2 nak emo2 kat email tu

malulah sikit

you are a so called professional

so act like one

ni tak

buat penuh inbox org je dgn benda2 tak penting gitu

buat kitorg gelak terbahak2 pecah perut je dengan statement2 pelik tu

sejak aku da nak habis first year ag aku mintak group pandan add email baru aku

tp HARAM

sampai untuk onepandanusim punya group pun mau gek letak email aku yang lama

pastu histeria la sbb student guna email tak professional la itu la ini la

pastu cakap benda tak masuk akal padahal dia tu yg in the first place memang salah

memang la

bikin panas je semua ni

patutnya moderator kena la lebih peka ngan semua ni

ni tak

cakap berdegar2

tp habuk pun tarak

k la

sebelum aku bertambah emo

baik aku blah

k

da~

# 10

songs that like to be listen when i'm (y it must be songs???tak paham la)

happy: maybe i just smile all day long kot... idk

sad: anything that's make me realize how lucky i am for being granted with lots of thing that i am not eligible for

bored: anything that can be heard

hyped: something that are full of energy

mad: ntah.. ngamuk kot.. or just go somewhere and treat people...

# 9

i'm happy because i manage to redo class IV composite restoration

i never thought of getting to do class IV in one visit

but Alhamdulillah

all praises to Allah

He ease my way

and even i'm kind of dissatisfy of the outcome

as long as the patient is happy and satisfy with it

i'm kinda ok...

tq Allah for the good day :)

# 8

goals:

-nak siapkan e&d patient cons

-nak siapkan denture design+special tray

-nak buat wire bending ortho kot

why??

-nak buat tx cons tanpa perlu fikir e&d yang tak habis-habis

-nak panggil patient untuk ambik secondary impression

-nak kena hantar functional appliance bulan depan :(

mimpi, ilusi atau psikologi???

okay

fine

i kind of tak faham what is happening to myself

i tell you what

it happen again

the pain

and i don't get it

what is happening to me

am i being too mengada so that the feeling of pain is there

or it just nothing

i really am confuse

camne ek y'all???

# 7

ya Allah

betul

terkadang saya alpa

terkadang saya leka

hingga saya lupa

tanggungjawab saya

sebagai hamba

anak

pelajar

doktor

pendakwah

bahkan bukan terkadang

hampir setiap masa saya terlupa

lalu saya menjauh

pergi dari tanggungan saya

meninggalkan

tanpa sekelumit bersalah

tanpa sedikit resah

ya Allah

ingatkanlah saya

apa yang saya lupa

janganlah Kau hukum saya atas kelemahan saya

jauhkan seksa neraka dari diri saya

sesungguhnya saya hamba yang kerdil

tiada daya upaya melainkan Engkau

tuhan yang menguasai dunia dan isinya

perkenankan ya Allah

# 6

my fav superhero is my parents

coz they are so special

# 5

how beautiful life is

went to ampang hospital two times this week for general surgery ward round

went to surgical ward where there's lot of people are bedridden

cannot walk even some of them cannot talk properly

how lucky we are for being granted a healthy life

a state of well being

which then we misused it by doing so not giving benefit things in our life

just keep on complaining while others are battling to survive

just keep on wasting money while some people need it for medical purposes

just keep on wasting time while for them each and every moment is so precious

life surely unique in it's own way

may Allah grant us a heart that always be grateful for everything that we have

for everything that He gave us

ya Allah...

jadikan kami hamba yang sentiasa bersyukur

amin

# 4

i wish that i can discard my teeth clenching habit

it causes me to have limitation in mouth opening

# 3

------

TELL ME WHY SHALL I TREAT YOU KINDLY IF YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A BITCH???

TELL ME YOU UNGRATEFUL HUMAN BEING

ward round??? gotcha!!

this week was our group first and second ward rounds for general surgery

bajet sungguh ayat itu wahai kucingred

the first round was like seriously round in the ward blindly

we just round and searching for the patient

and finally got one

the surgeon was unable to come and we were asked to come again on friday (which is today)

and today

we had our general medicine lectures first in hospital ampang before the ward round session

nothing much to be shared

but seriously

ward round is actually giving us better understanding of concepts and theories that being taught in class

so, enjoy this session before it's too late

poyo jek

tolong... i need teeth for perio simulation

teeth with calculus y'all

rabbi sahhilna

# 2

no-thing~no-think is it

i just name it because there sure is nothing in my blog

and sure i write it usually without thinking

it just for fun

for the expression of my emotions

for something that so called meditation (at least for me la kan..)

i like writing

and here i write

here i am me

but most of the time

here is the place where the other side of me lives

# 1

am a left-handed

use widely my right hand in clinics (LA, forceps, scaler, handpieces, etc)

teeth clenching during sleeping

like to write

am fussy kot

am lazy

don't like appointment with dentist (it kind of scary)

don't know how to cook

for the time being:

don't like to scale people's teeth

don't prefer denture works

don't like periodontology practical classes

don't like orthodontics wire bending

like oral and maxillo-facial surgery

interest in forensic dentistry

kind of fall in love with endodontics

tu je...

no picture provided sebab my mum tak kasi upload gambar ke internet (except for berkumpulan)

so people, peka k

jangan suka hati je nak post gambar orang kat internet

get the consent first k

lots of LoVe

just for fun...

30 days challenge to post something in blog..

hehe

Day 1 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 2 - The meaning behind your blog's name

Day 3 - A picture of you and your friends

Day 4 - A habit that you wish you didn't have

Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you've been to

Day 6 - Favorite superhero and why?

Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has a big impact on you

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why

Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the past few days

Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you're happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12 - How you found out about blog and why you made one

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14 - A picture of you and your family

Day 15 - Put your ipod in shuffle. First 10 songs that play

Day 16 - Another picture of yourself

Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why?

Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them?

Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in future

Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else?

Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot

Day 24 - A letter for your parents

Day 25 - What would i find in your bag?

Day 26 - What do you think about your friends?

Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 days challenge?

Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30 - Who are you?

sesapa yang berminat meh la wat skali ek :)

esok first clinical posting to hospital ampang for general surgery

i am so super berdebar

takut la...

camne ni?????

satu lagi

kenapa gigi i like so painful after flossing??

did you guys feel it that way???

it is seriously causing me so unpleasant feeling

can i get my teeth extracted??? *gerammmmm*

rabbi sahhilna

berjalan-bermusafir-berfikir

Alhamdulillah

thumma Alhamdulillah

itu saja yang terlintas di fikiran tatkala tayar bas berhenti di hentian bas bukit jalil

hanya Allah saja yang tahu betapa lega hati dan perasaan kami

perjalanan yang sememangnya menggugat kesabaran

mujur saja bersama teman-teman

kalau keseorangan, mungkin saya sudah berendam air mata

marah, geram, sedih, kecewa, letih

perasaan memang bercampur baur

mungkin selama ini saya terlalu dimanja

hinggakan dengan sedikit dugaan terasa begitu lelah

perjalanan yang panjang

membuka sedikit ruang untuk saya berfikir dan muhasabah

betapa ruginya saya kerana mensia-siakan waktu

betul

terkadang saya rasa jauh

jauh dari rahmatNya

ya Allah

peliharalah hati ini

peliharalah iman saya

hidup dan matikan saya dalam iman

hidup dan matikan saya dalam agamaMu

amin

tolong doakan saya ye... saya keliru...

different angles give different meanings

it's just the way you interpret things

the most important thing is

think

ThInK

tHiNk

t-h-i-n-k

T-H-I-N-K

use your brain

and heart

for better result

;)

cuti

holiday

we love holiday

minggu depan kami akan start kuliah general medicine dengan dr baru

berdebar gitu

huhu

minggu depan juga kami akan start posting general surgery

agak ngeri di situ ye

iAllah

semuanya baik-baik sahaja

oral pathology oral medicine

hukhuk

the exam was bitter

and i was thinking (when the lecturer starts to distribute the question booklets)

i was like "tak boleh ke belajar je takde exam"

exams are so tiring

but somehow there are some good things about exam

at the very least

you read the books and the notes if not all

you are discussing something beneficial with your friends

you don't waste your time by doing something which are so not giving you benefit at all

but seriously

it way too stress and sometimes

it becoming so unbearable

huhu

but that how life goes

need to face it though

i hope

before our third professional exams start

please tell us the result

it somehow help us a lot

looking forward to continue the endodontic treatment with dr

also looking forward to get my periodontal status checked

hopefully, everything are just fine

don't worry kucingred

iAllah everything will be okay

cis ko ni merapu je kucingred...

k

da~~~

may things become better as time flies

may things become clearer as we go on

may us become wiser as we grow older

rabbi sahhilna

aetiology of periodontal disease

haha...

bajet berilmiah sangat je tajuk

haritu

masa exam

pakat dok pulun bace notes

and bila rajin tu adalah jugak selak-selak buku teks

(cheh..bajet sungguh ko ni kucingred)

one of the aetiology of periodontal disease is....

stressful live event

so, kita pun wat la observational studies secara tak langsung kat fakulti

hasilnya....

terbukti bahawa stressful life event menyumbang tak banyak, sikit in developing periodontal disease

kenapa gitu ek?

according to the notes that i've read

bila someone berhadapan dengan situasi yang stress gitu

taking care of oral hygiene becoming less important

sama la jugak dengan general health

kita tend untuk abaikan sebab ada benda yang lebih penting untuk kita fikir and hadapi

i still remember back in school time

a friend of mine

sampai muntah-muntah pening lalat

sebab tak tidur malam pulun nak study

satu lagi

i do think that exam can increase incidence of dental caries

tak percaya?

meh i bagitahu kenapa

sebab

kita-kita ni suka benau stay up dengan coffee la, milo la, tea la

pokoknya minum air manis la

tapi

berapa ramai yang minuman ni sangat efektif untuk mengekalkan tahap sedar diri korang masa stay up tu (saya pun tak tahu la kan)

kalau korang jenis yang immune dengan diuretics ni

makanya tertidurlah anda tanpa memberus gigi terlebih dahulu...

jadi, sekian lama

maka adalah early childhood caries (cis, bajet kanak-kanak riang minum ribena je ko ni kucingred)

maka....

terbentuklah caries lesion dalam mulut kita (kesian saya sebab sangat susceptible to caries)

ok

dah banyak sangat i merapu pagi ni

nak wat benda lain pulak k

assalamu'alaikum

ya Allah permudahkanlah urusan simulation perio harini

semoga kami semua lulus competency test perio

amin~