tiba juga cuti

minggu yang sangat panjang i guess

sangat letih

penat dengan klinik

pelbagai karenah manusia

sakit gigi pulak

somehow rasa sedih sebab tak dapat siapkan and hantar penulisan kreatif untuk akasia (sebab berperang dengan emosi sendiri and melawan kesakitan yang menggila hinggakan mengalami kesukaran untuk tidur dan berfikir)

tapi dapat gak tolong che pah, nurin and nysah untuk clip video (bukan dalam teknikal, just berlakon)

and we all manage untuk buat persembahan malam tu

and join the pantun yang tak tahu camne tetiba jek boleh menang

sekarang ni sangat lega

tapi sangat memerlukan tidur dan rehat yang panjang

sangat malas untuk belajar walaupun exam semakin dekat

sangat malas untuk klinik sebab memang malas (tak perlu specific reason pun sebab klinik itu memenatkan)

sangat malas untuk menghadap muka sebahagian dari manusia yang senantiasa membuatkan diri sendiri boleh kena darah tinggi in which they would like to make so called innocent face yang akhirnya membuatkan kita juga yang kelihatan teruk (gth la you!)

sangat malas mendengar kata-kata yang berbaur i'm way too good in comparison with you (once again gth la you!)

kesimpulannya i'm really tired and need a very good time for myself

biarlah

be it gedik

be it mengada

and be it manja

i don't care what people say

one thing that i know that

it is unbearable

tak sanggup

skang ni saya tengah menderita sakit gigi

mungkin esok saya akan bertemu dengan dr

saya sebenarnya tak sanggup dah

tak sanggup derita dengan gigi yang sakit ni

tak sanggup juga berjumpa dr sebab sakit

saya buntu

dalam dilema

tolong la

sakit, pergilah jauh-jauh

saya dah nak exam ni

kesian la kat saya

ya Allah,

permudahkan

saya masih lagi takut

dentist or doktor gigi

bila cakap pasal doktor gigi, sakit gigi ni memang kebanyakan orang akan rasa takut

i would not blame them for feel such thing sebab saya sendiri setelah hampir 3 tahun berada dalam bidang ni masih lagi takut akan dentist

tak tahu kenapa, mengapa, bagaimana

tapi membayangkan diri sendiri berada di atas dental chair dengan mulut yang terbuka tu saja dah buat saya rasa berdebar

and if i were to imagine the pain, of course the anxiety become greater

entahlah..

as far as i could remember, i never had a bad experience in dental care during childhood

but the anxiety of seeing dentist is quite bad..huhu

saya pun tak tahu macam mana

even if i go to dental clinic untuk temankan my mum or brother, still rasa macam nak pecah jantung sebab sangat berdebar

i have several filled teeth which the procedures was painless (as far as i remember la kan)

a root canal treated tooth which already been extracted

tapi nak katanya even dah banyak kali jumpa dentist

dah banyak kali buat treatment (which are painless)

still i cannot hold myself from the anxiety

huhu...

am i going to be scared towards my own self?

Allah, buangkanlah ketakutan itu dari hati hamba...

idea(s) anyone?

i need to write

i have a very severe toothache

and it makes me feel like to go berserk

seriously,

it is not a pleasant thing to be experienced to

this pain is way too unbearable compared to previous pain

medication to be taken

antibiotic to be finished

classes to be attended

wire to be bended

exams to be think of

make the pain even worse

having the pain radiating to the ear, head and even eye

makes me feel like crying

and now

difficulties in opening mouth

the pain are not explainable

i only can say that it even worse than period pain

ya Allah,

tolonglah saya

final exam is just around the corner

tsk..tsk..tsk...

kifarah

sakit itu kifarah

penghapus dosa

bersyukurlah anda diuji

Alhamdulillah

too many things to be written

a lot of thoughts to be shared

but seriously

i loss the words

lots of things that need to be taken care

but least efforts done

emotionally, mentally and physically disturbed

seriously

this intermittent pain is sometimes unbearable

Allah,

please give me strength to face this situation