change.. i bet it's not easy

experience,
a word with thousands description
you might have a good one and continue enjoying
you might have a good one and stop believing
you might have a bad one and continue to hope
you might also have a bad one and you stop to try


let me tell you a story of a girl that had a bad experience on something..
and she decided to gave up everything upon that something
and this is a true story
it happens to someone that is so dear to me..



it was back then in 2001
it's about 10 years ago
she just a common teenager
just like others
she just hated hostel as anybody in her age
things seem to be different in hostel
everything need to be done on your own
no mommies to tell
no siblings to help
it's about being independent

it is a religious school the place that she went
new routines
something new, something huge
she learnt about Ma'thurat
started to hear elaboration on Hadith
and something called usrah

she knows that usrah is an arabic word means family
but she did not get the idea what an usrah is all about
and it's kinda surprise until the first usrah meeting
she was excited
"a family in hostel should be great!" that was her thought

unfortunately..
things weren't good
the first time of usrah was like a bully party
along with her first former members, they were mentally bullied by the seniors
the seniors kinda torturing them
and the others were literally see and do nothing
some even do enjoy that moment
ever since that
thing has changed
usrah is a torturing thing for her

same old things keep on repeating
she never like it
never do enjoy it
and never do understand of its purposes
she just don't want the old same thing to happen again
at least not to her
so, she avoids it- that is the best way of her to think off

then she moves to another school
hoping that this new environment is free from usrah
but she got it wrong
and she was appointed to be a naqibah (an usrah leader)
but she disliked it
and she skipped several usrah's session

how skeptic she was back then that she really didn't bother of what happen
she didn't care and didn't mind

step up to uni
things pretty much becoming better
as usrah in uni is like a secret mission
lots of different groups with different people and different interest
and she don't mind
she don't even bother on that at all

human,
how hard they be
how difficult they are
there is something called fitrah
an urge for doing good
an urge to be better
an urge to change
but she don't know where to start
and it's hard for her

she thinks of usrah
but the bad experiences prominent most
and she afraid that it would be the same
she don't want to has that kind of feelings again
she just don't want to

the intention to change being expressed
and some people who concern brought her to several programs
there were speakers that have changed for good
their advises were all the same
and it is
"if you want to change yourself, join an usrah. your sisters in usrah will give you courage and support in making your intention to a reality. they will remind you if you forget. they will guide you if you lost."
and the soft spot inside her heart touched with the words

she hopes that she could find an usrah that can give her courage and support,
that could guide and remind her what she intended to be
that not only talk about early marriage
not only about getting money to get married
but to bring her back to fitrah
and for her to be able to make decisions based on syariatullah and sunnatullah

may Allah ease her way
may Allah ease our way
may Allah guide us to the right path
insyaAllah



i'm not a story-teller
but this is a true story







sometimes, little thing has a great impact into someone's life