Tuesday, November 30, 2010

feelings

i don't know why
i have these kind of feelings
not a pleasant feeling for sure

i want to cry
but i can't

it just a mixture of feelings
and combination of emotions

why oh why

i am having these kind of weird things

i'm insane

full stop!
saya ingin pergi jauh dari kamu!!!


atau mungkin kamu yang perlu pergi jauh dari saya

tolong jangan seksa hati dan perasaan saya lagi


Monday, November 29, 2010

the price that you need to pay

this is the price that you need to pay

pay it with your tears
pay it with your smiles
pay it with your laughs
pay it with your love

this is the way for you to get it
in order for you to take it
you need to pay
nothing is free in this world dear

be it sometimes unbearable
be it sometimes killing you silently
be it sometimes disgusting
be it sometimes too hard to endure

this is the price that you need to pay!

feels like giving up
feels like crying madly
feels like ignoring things
feels like dying

but this is the price that you need to pay

for you to stand still
lots of tears being waste

for you to keep walking
lots of emotions are burst

for you to remain fighting
lots of failures you have faced

for you to move on
lots of hardship you endure

and this is the price that you need to pay...

stop, cries, relax and reflect

bored of the same routines
and feel like giving up
STOP!
and take your very own time to your dearest self

tense of the same tasks
and feel like carrying a huge burden
CRIES!
and take your time to face the situation

tired of the same situations
and feel like letting it go
RELAX!
and take your precious time to soothe your mind

burden with all the mistakes done
and feel like nothing you can do to correct the situations
REFLECT!
and take your time to change yourself


Sunday, November 28, 2010

hati dan perasaan

hati saya ada satu
perasaan saya lebih dari satu
bercampur
beribu mungkin

saya sangat malas
tekanan sedikit

i'm hoping that i can become more mature as i grow older
not hope i suppose
i should
and it's a must i guess
well, changing is not an easy task to be done
very challenging
for a very not independent gedik girl like me

hoping that things will be better
or shall i change it to make things better

things are getting harder and more difficult
yet me being too immature and act stupidly

just live my own life
go with the flow
and cry in sleep
haha

gilo punya kucingred!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

getting older

holla~

minggu ni terasa sangat panjang
walaupun baru minggu pertama setelah cuti sem
tapi perasaan seakan sudah berbulan-bulan bergelumang dengan kelas dan klinik
masakan tidak
klinik kami yang dulunya pada hari isnin dan khamis telah bertambah satu hari lagi
iaitu hari jumaat
klinik yang dahulunya conservative dentistry dan prosthodontics sahaja telah ditambah dengan oral surgery, periodontics dan paediatric dentistry
mengundang kepenatan dan kelesuan barangkali

klinik bertambah bermakna keperluan untuk mencari patient juga bertambah
berapa ramai rakyat malaysia yang tinggal berdekatan ampang yang memerlukan khidmat rawatan pergigian?
berapa ramai di antara kalian yang mempunyai masalah gigi berlubang?
berapa ramai antara anda yang perlu dicabut giginya?
berapa ramai dalam kalangan kanak-kanak yang punya kekuatan untuk berjumpa doktor gigi?

ya Allah,
permudahkan urusan kami

note: thanks to all for the birthday wishes and presents....to housemates, thanks sbb temankan makan steamboat and to seniors, thanks for the souvenirs from bandung...

love you guys..ukhwah fillah abadan abada!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

i just want to write...

it's already two and a half years
and to be specific
it's already five semesters i've spent my time studying here i suppose

five semesters
not too long to make me feel that i am old enough at the moment
yet not too short that i've created lots of things and experienced tonnes of memories including the bad one and not to mention the good one

i still remember the first time i got the offer letter to fod
making me feel like i was dreaming
dentistry
spell it D.E.N.T.I.S.T.R.Y
it was and still i suppose
something rare
it's not like rare in term of awkward or bizarre
it just a little bit deviate from the normal curve
that's it
making it become quite a lot differ and special i guess

during the orientation week
i'm telling the truth that i dislike biology
i still remember one of the trainee lecturer asked
"if you don't like biology, then why you choose dentistry as your first choice?"
and the reason for me choosing this faculty in the first place is still the same
and that particular trainee lecturer said
"if that's so, why don't......."
and me just stand still
and smile i guess hearing the trainee lecturer or the dentist saying that sentences
the next day
i'm going to the dentist, asking for a sign
a task for freshies
and the dentist asked
"you are the one who dislike biology, don't you?"- asking me confidently
and me without hesitate just nodding my head
"introduce yourself" the dentist instructed me
and asked several questions
and before i go the dentist called me and said
"well, dentistry is not merely about biology. it's the combination of sciences and you'll find it is an interesting field to be explored"

************************************************************************************

2 b continued

y oh y???

mengapa cuti hanya sekejap???
mengapa???

mengapa e-nilai terdapat ramai lecturer yang tidak ku kenal???
mengapa???

tidak mahu pulang ke ampang..
boleh???

Monday, November 15, 2010

clicking

clicking temporo-mandibular joint
tetap
walaupun exam dah habis
tekanankah?
agak menjengkelkan ok

Friday, November 12, 2010

serabut

luahan hati kucingred lepas exam

Alhamdulillah,
kami dah selamat habis 13 papers untuk exam final sem satu
and to be honest
several papers were too difficult kalau nak compare ngan papers yang lain
papers tersebut adalah......
periodontology (muntah)
oral and maxillofacial surgery (muntah hijau)
prosthodontics (muntah darah)
oral pathology and oral medicine (muntah+nanges air mata darah)

ok
sangat kuciwa k
and
to make things 'happier'
tadi result mid sem keluar untuk subjek cons and pros -pelik tapi benar-
and guess what
saya GAGAL subjek pros
hati saya tak gembira sebab
saya gagal
and paper final ni pulak tak leh jawab
arrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
tekanan ok

takpe
exam dah habis
tunggu je la lepas cuti ni for the results
terima dengan hati yang terbuka ye kucingred

semoga kamu menjadi orang yang bersabar.....


tq kak ain and sarah for birthday present in advance...

sesiapa, saya nak buku armagedon 2012 untuk hadiah birthday saya nanti
harganya rm31++
juga mahu buku what your teacher didn't tell you rm40
pleeeeaseeeeeee!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

~lalla~

tagged by zara...

1. entah kenapa saya ada satu perasaan bahawa semua yang ada di sekeliling saya adalah satu penipuan.
2. saya tak suka lelaki yang pakai rantai dan gelang.
3. tak suka iron baju.
4. tak suka bau glove.
5. suka sangat makan kerang.
6. suka juga makan sup.
7. tak boleh terima minuman yang ada bendasing.
8. suka tangok video orang kahwin.
9. tak suka pergi shopping lama-lama sebab tak reti nak pilih barang sendiri.
10. tak suka tengok wayang sebab takut dengan situasi dalam panggung.
11. tak suka study.
12. tak suka orang yang kedekut tapi suka mintak orang lain punya barang.
13. rasanya saya ni tak berkira sangat kot.
14. saya segan nak mintak hutang kat orang so, sape2 yang hutang saya tu tolong la alert.
15. seorang yang pemarah and sangat panas baran.
16. tak suka orang yang bajet diri dia superior to others..rasa cam nak sumbat mulut dia dengan buah durian.
17. bila rasa sangat terluka dengan orang, saya takde kekuatan untuk berdepan dengan orang tu dan buat biasa...things change after the incident.
18. dia yang menggembirakan saya adalah dia yang selalu melukakan saya..common kan?
19. saya malas.
20. saya dilahirkan di kaunter pendaftaran/pertanyaan hospital. (tak sure pendaftaran ke pertanyaan..tp rasanya pendaftaran)
21. tak suka biology.
22. tak suka duduk hostel.
23. tak tahu kenapa tapi saya tak suka jumpa dentist.
24. tak suka lelaki yang dah berkahwin tapi gatal.
25. bila sangat marah pada seseorang, saya suka belanja orang lain makan untuk legakan perasaan.

cikeh, sila buat...
- write 25 things about u

sapa yg berminat, leh buat and inform me by leaving ur comment n i'll pay u a visit..
tq

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

perasaan ini.. susah nak tafsir..

Alhamdulillah, berkat izin serta rahmat Allah yang Maha Agung
we all dah selesai 10 papers or subjects untuk sem ni
tapi perlu diingatkan
masih berbaki 3 papers or subjects lagi
iaitu:
oral pathology oral medicine
general surgery
prosthodontics

tapi inilah masalahnya
makin ke penghujung, makin tiada mood untuk exam
makin sambil lewa

huhu
exam harini ngan semalam sangat terlalu amat disastrous
huhu....
bukan bermakna yang lain tu ok
tapi yang ini paling dasyat (buat masa ni)

dah lama tak de rasa tu
rasa blur
rasa tak tahu apa-apa
rasa....
even i cannot explain those feelings

kalau tak silap (kalau silap maafkan saya k)
kali terakhir saya rasa macam ni adalah masa jawab paper biochemistry and anatomy time first year dulu (of course to be specific paper anatomy sebab biochemistry first paper pro exam)
serius
saya tak tahu apa yang saya jawab
dan saya tak tahu apa yang saya tahu
perasaan yang sangat terlalu amat sukar untuk saya tafsirkan

besar sungguh dugaan dan pengorbanan yang perlu dihadapi untuk berjaya
tapi jangan mengalah
Allah takkan bebankan kita dengan something yang kita tak mampu kan?
semoga Allah permudahkan urusan saya dan kamu


"maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan,
sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan,
maka apabila engkau telah selesai (dari satu urusan) tetaplah bekerja keras (untuk urusan lain),
dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah engkau berharap"
(94:5-8)


Saturday, November 6, 2010

unspoken

7 papers to go..
too many...
cannot digest...

you...
you...
you...
you are too close to be seen
yet too far to be touched

oh,
emo la pulak

bila exam nak habis ni?
hati ni dah meronta-ronta
tak sanggup dah nak baca notes yang bertimbun ni
tolong!!!

sekali lagi
saya kegilaan...
huhu

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

budak tak sedar diri

hoho...saya ada gejala early childhood caries...
haha.. perasan giler early childhood..
tapi yang penting saya adalah tidak sedar diri
saya snacking masa study ok
saya dah giler..huhu