Showing posts with label x-press. Show all posts
Showing posts with label x-press. Show all posts

Thursday, July 21, 2011

bila kau bersuara dikatakan biadap sedangkan tak sedar perlunya penambahbaikan


aku dah muak and bosan dengan email dari yahoogroup pandan
kenapa perlu berlambak-lambak benda alah invitation to bla bla bla
memang syaiton la kan
kang aku keluar dari group tu ada lak miss benda penting
tapi so far benda yang penting tu memang ciput la kan
and kalau ada medical student yang baca blog aku ni
boleh tak korang buat yahoogroup sendiri
bukan apa
no offense k
tapi meluat kot dapat email dalam group pandan tapi pasal medical students
pastu nak reply like million times kot
come on la
free kot
bukan luak pun duit scholar korang tu
buat letih aku je nak log in bagai
walhal benda yang ada tu memang takde kaitan dengan kolej kediaman pun

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aku tak tahu la ampang ni ceruk hutan mana
tapi aku rasa selalu ada information withold
internet ada kot (by all means tak payah la nak mengagungkan sangat facebook tu.. kau ingat semua orang active dalam facebook ke??)
email je la kat semua orang
tak pun hantar message kat telefon
or call je terus

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kenapa kau suka sangat bagi arahan yang tak jelas dan tak lengkap?
kau ingat aku dan kami ni ada ke kuasa telepati nak faham apa yang kau maksudkan
ingat ni exam isi perkataan yang sesuai untuk menjadi ayat yang lengkap ke?

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arahan selalu bercanggah antara satu sama lain
kemudian salahkan kami kata yang kami tidak pay attention
sedangkan dirinya ternyata sudah terang lagi bersuluh salah
susah sangatkah melafazkan kata maaf dan mengakui kesilapan sendiri
kita manusia
memanglah tidak sempurna
sudahlah menarik rambut di dalam tepung itu memang susah
rambut tu pula terputus
tepung pula bersepah-sepah

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kekecewaan memang tak boleh diungkap dengan kata-kata
bilamana agama di ambil mudah
dunia itu nampak lebih indah dan menguntungkan
natijahnya
melihat menggunakan telinga
dan mendengar menggunakan mata
yang baik nampak jelik
dan jahat itu tampak mulia
menidakkan yang benar kerana rasa terkena batang hidung sendiri

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kalau yang muda itu tidak disayangi
dipermainkan seperti binatang
jangan pernah bermimpi untuk dihormati
hidup bukan menongkat langit

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yang zahir itu terkadang lebih susah dari yang tersembunyi



Saturday, February 19, 2011

luahan

sometimes when i sit back and think
i kind of feel that it's quite tough to face these kind of things

adakah dental students u lain juga begini??
i mean do they always got lots of papers in a day continuously?
do this thing actually help us in managing our stress in working time later on?

this mid semester exam was the most horror exam experience
what do you expect me to say
it starts with community dentistry and behavioural science and oral health
ok la tu
the exams was before mid sem break
boleh tahan lagi
but after the break
it was like dilanda garuda
on the first day- monday
4 subjects (conservative dentistry, prosthodontics, orthodontics and paediatric dentistry)
the second day- tuesday
6 subjects (oral pathology oral medicine, diagnostic imaging, oral maxillofacial surgery, periodontology, general surgery and general medicine)
the so called last day- wednesday
5 papers (oral maxillofacial surgery, periodontology, diagnostic imaging, orthodontics and paediatric dentistry)
and the week after- wednesday
the last paper for real oral pathology oral medicine

sometimes rasa cam tak mampu je
plus dengan kemalasan
tambah dengan tiredness
rasa cam dah nak tersepuk kat lantai
but
if others can do
why can't i do the same?

ya Allah
berilah ketabahan dan kesabaran untuk berdepan dengan ujian dunia ini

hidup dan matikan saya dalam iman

amin

email

kalau bukak yahoomail je mesti rasa cam nak marah
rasa cam nak maki-maki
sebab aku mmg la terlalu amat sgt benci email dr yahoogroup pandan
afaik kita semua ni dak dental and medical
tak boleh ke nak berfikir ngan lebih baik
kalau tak boleh, takde faedah la Allah bagi kite akal fikiran
dulu isu mesin basuh
sorry to say
tp sengal
korang hanya memenuhkan inbox org ramai ngan benda2 yg tak penting
pastu skang ni isu email address pun
pakat nak menyalak, terpekik, terlolong
kan senang kalau just mintak balik kat students email terbaru yg lebih professional
tak payah mcm org gila nak marah2 nak emo2 kat email tu
malulah sikit
you are a so called professional
so act like one
ni tak
buat penuh inbox org je dgn benda2 tak penting gitu
buat kitorg gelak terbahak2 pecah perut je dengan statement2 pelik tu
sejak aku da nak habis first year ag aku mintak group pandan add email baru aku
tp HARAM
sampai untuk onepandanusim punya group pun mau gek letak email aku yang lama
pastu histeria la sbb student guna email tak professional la itu la ini la
pastu cakap benda tak masuk akal padahal dia tu yg in the first place memang salah
memang la
bikin panas je semua ni
patutnya moderator kena la lebih peka ngan semua ni
ni tak
cakap berdegar2
tp habuk pun tarak

k la
sebelum aku bertambah emo
baik aku blah
k
da~

Sunday, December 26, 2010

rage with all my heart

warning: this post may contain impolite words. to those who do not like cruelty, you are advised to leave this page a.s.a.p. tq!

i don't know when this kind of feelings start to develop
YOU!
i am so sorry
i'm very sorry

i've tried with all my heart to forget what you have done to me
but i'm just a so stubborn and super ego 21 years old female
i cannot help myself to forget what had happen
i cannot help myself from hating you
it just cannot be helped!

YOU!

don't ask me where did you go wrong
don't even dare to ask me what are your mistakes
because it just a lot
too long to be listed
and i am too tired to list it for you

YOU!

i don't know what else to do
the feeling of love and friendship that surround us before already fade
not only fade i guess
it breaks
and causing me to suffer a lot of pain

YOU!

i hope you will not do things that will cause me to hate you more
because it is difficult for me to hate people
and guess what
you are tough enough to make me hate you with all my heart
i appreciate your strength

YOU!

for all the sadness from your words
for all the hatred from your actions
for all the negative feelings from what you have done
i forgive you
but,
i am sorry
because along with my forgiveness
i cannot forget all those things
i keep on repeating it in my mind
i am not deleting your messages
so that i will keep on remember what you did and be more careful

am i being too cruel???

kucingred: no, it just a kind of self defense

to YOU!

so sorry i just hate you

bubbye~



Sunday, December 12, 2010

sometimes choices are too difficult for a decision to be made

i'm just 21

choices are not something for me to think of (at least for the time being la)

i know i'm being too immature

but i just don't know how to make the right choice

so that in the future i don't regret things i've chose

i am in dilemma

help me!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

berita dah basi

dilanda kemalasan- tiada alasan kukuh

kg cheras baru, 7 dec- seorang pelajar fakulti pergigian u*** telah dikenalpasti menghadapi kemalasan yang teramat terutama menjelang hari khamis kerana perlu hadir ke klinik prosthodontics. beliau yang hanya ingin dikenali sebagai kucingred berkata bahawa beliau memang tidak menggemari klinik tersebut lantaran ketelitian yang diperlukan sepanjang proses penghasilan gigi palsu. selain itu, beliau yang sememangnya terkenal dengan kemalasan berkata bahawa beliau bukanlah seorang yang teliti, justeru mengurangkan lagi kesungguhan beliau dalam menghasilkan gigi palsu. tambahan pula, daya kreativiti yang rendah menyebabkan beliau tidak dapat membayangkan tanda tempat anatomi (anatomical landmark) pesakit beliau dengan baik. bagaimanapun menurut seorang pensyarah beliau yang tidak ingin dikenali, tiada alasan yang kukuh telah dinyatakan kucingred tentang kemalasan itu. seorang rakan beliau turut mengulas tentang sikap malas yang ternyata sudah sebati dengan jiwa beliau. rakan beliau yang hanya ingin dikenali sebagai W berkata "mungkin kehadiran seseorang yang istimewa dapat mengubah sikap kucingred." - ternama

Friday, December 3, 2010

i don't get it

i don't get it

why you are being so irrational and irresponsible

you are looking so nice

yet you are just the same

now i know

why they mention

"don't ever judge a book by its cover"

and this is the reason

FULL STOP!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

saya ingin pergi jauh dari kamu!!!


atau mungkin kamu yang perlu pergi jauh dari saya

tolong jangan seksa hati dan perasaan saya lagi


Monday, November 29, 2010

the price that you need to pay

this is the price that you need to pay

pay it with your tears
pay it with your smiles
pay it with your laughs
pay it with your love

this is the way for you to get it
in order for you to take it
you need to pay
nothing is free in this world dear

be it sometimes unbearable
be it sometimes killing you silently
be it sometimes disgusting
be it sometimes too hard to endure

this is the price that you need to pay!

feels like giving up
feels like crying madly
feels like ignoring things
feels like dying

but this is the price that you need to pay

for you to stand still
lots of tears being waste

for you to keep walking
lots of emotions are burst

for you to remain fighting
lots of failures you have faced

for you to move on
lots of hardship you endure

and this is the price that you need to pay...

Sunday, October 31, 2010

-xpress-

i might be mean to you
i might not nice to you
i might talking harsh words to you
i might not a good friend to you

before it's too late
before you cannot hear what i'm going to say
before i cannot say things that i wanted to
before we get separated

i would like to say

thank you for your existence
that shine up my life all this while

thank you for being by my side
along my happiness and sadness

thank you for your care
through difficulties and sickness

thank you for being my friend
for which it is irreplaceable

and i wanted you to know that

even it seems like i don't care
even it looks like i don't mind
even i didn't be a good listener
even i didn't give you a shoulder to cry on
even i didn't able to wipe your tears
even i didn't manage to make you smile

do know that i'm very poor in expressing my feelings

and i want to say this three words to you (but i am shy)


i love you


friends...


Thursday, October 28, 2010

trauma or phobia

recently i have been in dental surgery for some treatment
but apparently, i am having a kind of trauma and phobia right now

anywhere i go and everywhere i sit
my olfactory nerve telling me that i am in a dental surgery
and the experiences of swallowing that sodium hypochloride made my taste buds telling me that i am still swallowing that solution

and frankly speaking
this condition annoys me a lot
all this while i never ever like dental surgery (but i am hoping that this will not last forever la)
and i really mean it

for all the dentists that work really hard to save my 35
i would like to express my gratitude to you guys for doing so
for all that being concern towards my tooth and pain
thank you so much for helping and being so nice
for all the advices and supports
may Allah bless you for doing so

thank you Allah
for another experience
another story
another day

doakan phobia and trauma saya cepat hilang


Saturday, October 9, 2010

saya masih lagi takut

dentist or doktor gigi

bila cakap pasal doktor gigi, sakit gigi ni memang kebanyakan orang akan rasa takut
i would not blame them for feel such thing sebab saya sendiri setelah hampir 3 tahun berada dalam bidang ni masih lagi takut akan dentist
tak tahu kenapa, mengapa, bagaimana
tapi membayangkan diri sendiri berada di atas dental chair dengan mulut yang terbuka tu saja dah buat saya rasa berdebar
and if i were to imagine the pain, of course the anxiety become greater

entahlah..
as far as i could remember, i never had a bad experience in dental care during childhood
but the anxiety of seeing dentist is quite bad..huhu
saya pun tak tahu macam mana
even if i go to dental clinic untuk temankan my mum or brother, still rasa macam nak pecah jantung sebab sangat berdebar

i have several filled teeth which the procedures was painless (as far as i remember la kan)
a root canal treated tooth which already been extracted
tapi nak katanya even dah banyak kali jumpa dentist
dah banyak kali buat treatment (which are painless)
still i cannot hold myself from the anxiety

huhu...
am i going to be scared towards my own self?

Allah, buangkanlah ketakutan itu dari hati hamba...

idea(s) anyone?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

i need to write

i have a very severe toothache
and it makes me feel like to go berserk
seriously,
it is not a pleasant thing to be experienced to

this pain is way too unbearable compared to previous pain
medication to be taken
antibiotic to be finished

classes to be attended
wire to be bended
exams to be think of
make the pain even worse

having the pain radiating to the ear, head and even eye
makes me feel like crying
and now
difficulties in opening mouth

the pain are not explainable
i only can say that it even worse than period pain

ya Allah,
tolonglah saya
final exam is just around the corner

tsk..tsk..tsk...

Sunday, September 5, 2010

sekadar coretan- no offence k

salam 'alaik

hai kamu
beryukurlah kerana telah tertulis yang kamu dilahirkan dari keturunan yang baik
maka
janganlah kamu menjatuhkan maruah kamu dengan perkara-perkara yang keji

hai kamu
bersyukurlah kerana telah termaktub yang kamu dikelilingi oleh keluarga yang baik
sungguhpun iman itu tidak boleh diwarisi
sekurangnya kamu masih punya seseorang untuk terus memperingatkan kamu tentang keagunganNya

hai kamu
sangat bertuah kamu kerana sentiasa dikelilingi mereka-mereka yang kenal dan cinta akan Tuhannya
yang mendedahkan kamu dengan keindahan agama
yang membawamu menuju redhaNya

tetapi kamu
kerana kamu begitu
mengertilah mereka yang bukan
yang perlu bimbingan
bukan penghinaan

kerana kamu begitu
jangan beranggapan semua senasib denganmu
ingat
tak semua manusia di dunia ini cukup bertuah untuk memiliki sebuah keluarga yang benar-benar faham akan agamaNya

kerana kamu itu baik
tidak pernah tertulis hak kamu untuk menghina golongan yang jahil
kerana kamu itu baik
tidak pernah kamu memiliki hak untuk menghukum mereka yang lain

mereka sepatutnya dibimbing
diajar dan diperingatkan tentang kebesaran Tuhan
bukan ditengking, diherdik apatah lagi dihina kerana kejahilan

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semoga Allah matikan saya, kamu, dia dan mereka dalam keimanan dan semoga kita semua peroleh redhaNya untuk ke syurga

amiin...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

because i am me

sometimes
i feel like being left out alone
feel like i am not good enough
like i am the loser
as if i can't do anything on my own

sometimes
i feel like giving up
feel like there's no hope for me
like this is the wrong path
as if i can turning back to live better

sometimes
i feel like crying
feel like no one would understand my feelings
like having severely tortured mental
as if that can solve the problems

sometimes
i feel like a mad hatter
feel like want to go berserk
like killing all the people i hated
as if they were like fishes in market

sometimes
i am facing dejection
also facing happiness
experiencing madness
but
still standing
still like this
still moving

because,
i am me

these things made me as who i am

semoga hari esok lebih baik dari hari ni

Monday, August 30, 2010

kerana kasihMu

kerana kasihMu
aku masih bernafas
masih lagi berdiri
masih terus berjuang
walau hati terkadang sedih
walau hakikat terkadang pedih
walau derita berkunjung tiba
masih tetap bertahan
kerana kasihMu

kerana kasihMu
yang sukar itu diatasi
yang gentar itu dihadapi
yang debar itu diharungi
walau terkadang mengalah datang
walau terkadang gagal menjelma
walau terkadang kesukaran memaut
masih mampu berjalan
kerana kasihMu

kerana kasihMu
memberikan aku saudara
menghadiahkan aku teman
mengurniakan aku kebahagiaan
melahirkan rasa ketenangan
membuahkan cinta yang berpanjangan
walau terkadang badai menjelma
walau batin terkadang derita
walau terkadang pahit terasa
namun masih mampu tersenyum
kerana kasihMu

kerana kasihMu
aku di sini
masih bernafas
walau terkadang terseksa
masih terus ke depan
walau terkadang terhenti
masih terus gembira
walau terkadang berduka
masih terus-terusan berjuang
walau terkadang kecundang
semuanya kerana kasihMu

Sunday, August 29, 2010

inferior

what do you mean by inferior?
rendah diri?
rasa terhina?
rasa martabat anda rendah?

why do you feel inferior?
tak bersyukur?
memandang rendah?
rasa tak cukup bagus?

when do you feel inferior?
bila tengok orang lain?
bila bandingkan diri dengan orang?
bila rasa lemah?

who makes you feel inferior?
friends?
teachers?
families?
enemies?

what causes you to develop inferior?
environment?
situation?
emotion?

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you are who you are

inferiority doesn't going to help but you, yourself need to have the motivation

curiosity kills cat
hypocrisy kills identity
inferiority kills uniqueness


just a thought of mine

Thursday, June 24, 2010

coward...

i am a coward
right now i'm just trying hardly to run away from the situation
seriously
i cannot face the reality
i am depress

i wanna cry, but i can't
i wanna scream, but i can't
i want to express the hatred, but i can't
i want to be honest, but i can't

i hate hypocrisy
but i guess i am a hypocrite
hypocritical as if i really don't care
i hate myself for being such person

as i can't be honest
i hope i can go far away
hoping that sorrows and dejections fail to find me
leave me alone
don't bother my life
leaving me smile happily
inside out

you can lie others but not yourself
the pain, sorrows, dejections and hatred you keep inside
will always be there
even if the wounds heal
the scars will always remind you of the pain

sometimes if you are hurt by others
silence is the best thing to do
if you afraid you might hurt others
just shut your mouth and let you yourself face the pain alone
and
pray so that it is the best for you

by the way
i'm a coward
that is why i'm expressing my emotion here

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

not perfect

aku x perfect
aku manusia
at one point
aku mmg x tahan

seriously
when things happen to be like this
aku nak pergi jauh
aku x nak buat kamu, dia dan kita sama2 sakit hati
tolong mengerti
aku x nak perkara camni ganggu hidup aku

bila aku diam
x bermakna aku x kisah
bila aku biarkan
x bermakna kau boleh nak ulang

kalau kau boleh kata kat orang lain yg kita dah besar n boleh pk sendiri baik buruk
aku nak kau pulak pk benda tu
jangan sampai satu hari nanti aku x boleh nak tengok muka n dengar suara kau
tolong jangan buat aku benci kau

aku x suka nak kerah orang buat kerja yg diorg patut buat
aku x kuasa nak ingatkan kerja yg diorg kena buat
aku x de hati nak tengok diorg siapkan kerja diorg
aku x de masa nak tanya2 org byk kali kerja dah siap ke belum

pd aku, cukup sekadar update
x payah nak kongkong n bebankan hidup diorg
sbb aku rimas n serabut bila org buat aku mcm tu

jadi kpd diorang,
tolong sgt bila aku x kongkong n kurangkan beban diorg
TOLONG buat kerja tu
n TOLONG jgn buat kerja sambil lewa

tolong sgt
sbb aku x perfect
aku manusia
aku boleh develop perasaan benci
and aku susah nak suka org kalau aku dah benci

i'm not going to hate you kalau kau baru buat benda ni pertama kali
sbb kau dah buat banyak kali la aku rasa mendidih sekarang ni...
tolong sgt2

i'm begging you

Sunday, June 13, 2010

loss

tell them how much you love
let them know how much you care
show them how important they are in ur daily life
before it's too late

to lose your patience
you can ask an apology

to lose your kindness
you can create thousands reasons

to lose your beloved one
it's totally a loss

because......
they are irreplaceable

i love my family & friends

thank you for always be by my side

for the kindness and patience
for the calmness and motivation
for the happiness and joy
for every single things
thank you so much

thank you and love you :)