Showing posts with label l.i.f.e.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label l.i.f.e.. Show all posts

Friday, July 29, 2011

hati yang rapuh

repetitive things sometime do cause emotional distress
yes
i have a very fragile heart due to something that keep on happening
sometime i wonder how could i release myself from this very thing
to hurt someone with reality is just so mean
and i prefer to keep it within me
let me be the one that feel the sorrow, dejection and pain
and i will try harder to protect and help you
yes
indeed
i'm in pain because of you
your stubbornness
if i have something to ask from you
i would like for you to think wise before making any decision
is it too much to ask for???

Monday, July 25, 2011

of clinic and awkwardness

rasa pelik dan kekok semacam
itulah perasaan setelah 4bulan tak berjumpa patients
daripada sesimple instruments apa yang nak kena guna
sampai nak menulis dalam continuation sheets
segalanya blurrr
mujur juga masih lagi mengingati muka-muka patients tu
kalau tak
memang tahap apa pun tak tahu nak kata apa

pagi tadi agak kelam-kabut klinik
maklumlah
students masih dalam mood holiday
lecturers and staffs masih dalam mood takde students kat campus
hasilnya
caca marba
klinik dah semacam pasar
bukan kita saja yang rasa
patients pun berfikir begitu

time tu lah nak buat inventori
time tu lah nak set up cubicle masing-masing
time tu lah patient nak cancel appointment last minute
time tu lah meroyan nak cari patient baru
memang haru


hopefully
dapatlah kita memanfaatkan waktu-waktu ini


doakan kami semua berjaya
thanx :)


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

extra soft apakah??

bertukar kepada berus gigi baru
kononnya berlabel extra soft
tambahan pula berus gigi kanak-kanak
hakikatnya bristle itu sangat 'keras'
dan ternyata sangat menyakitkan gingiva
extra soft apakah yang dimaksudkan
kalau menggunakan jenama yang sama untuk soft, medium or hard i couldn't imagine how could it be
setakat yang berlabel extra soft ini pun terasa sangat menghakis
cheh..
menipu pengguna


Sunday, March 6, 2011

dia yang mengingatkan

pernah tak korang berada dalam satu situasi yang korang rasa down sangat
korang rasa cam takde sesiapa yang dapat memahami perasaan korang
korang rasa macam takde siapa yang boleh tolong korang
tapi korang nak
korang perlu luahkan perasaan korang tu
sebab tak tertanggung
orang yang korang percaya mungkin tidak memahami
orang yang memahami mungkin sibuk dengan masalah sendiri
korang lost

i'm not a good servant
not a good daughter
not even a good student

how can i asked Him to grant me so many things
while i'm being an ungrateful servant
being disobey to Him

how can i asked my parents to understand my condition
while i'm being so selfish
for not being understanding

bercakap dengan dia
berbual dengan dia
saya rasa lega

mendengar kata-katanya
menerima nasihatnya
membuka mata saya

sungguh
hikmah itu memang sentiasa ada
yakin dan percaya
hikmah memang ada
mungkin bukan sekarang
bukan detik ini
bukan ketika ini
tapi
janji itu pasti
siapa tahu
esok
lusa
mungkin juga di sana
kita tak tahu

betulkan niat
semua kerana Dia
Dialah yang menciptakan langit dan bumi
yang menjadikan malam dan siang silih berganti
yang menguasai timur dan barat
yang berkuasa ke atas makhlukNya
insyaAllah
dipermudahkan urusan


ya Allah
semoga hidup dan mati saya dalam iman


kepada dia
terima kasih kerana mengingatkan saya yang terlupa
semoga Allah merahmati kamu sekeluarga
thank you



Wednesday, February 16, 2011

mimpi, ilusi atau psikologi???

okay
fine
i kind of tak faham what is happening to myself
i tell you what
it happen again
the pain
and i don't get it
what is happening to me
am i being too mengada so that the feeling of pain is there
or it just nothing
i really am confuse
camne ek y'all???

Sunday, February 13, 2011

how beautiful life is

went to ampang hospital two times this week for general surgery ward round
went to surgical ward where there's lot of people are bedridden
cannot walk even some of them cannot talk properly
how lucky we are for being granted a healthy life
a state of well being
which then we misused it by doing so not giving benefit things in our life
just keep on complaining while others are battling to survive
just keep on wasting money while some people need it for medical purposes
just keep on wasting time while for them each and every moment is so precious

life surely unique in it's own way
may Allah grant us a heart that always be grateful for everything that we have
for everything that He gave us

ya Allah...
jadikan kami hamba yang sentiasa bersyukur

amin

Friday, February 11, 2011

ward round??? gotcha!!

this week was our group first and second ward rounds for general surgery
bajet sungguh ayat itu wahai kucingred
the first round was like seriously round in the ward blindly
we just round and searching for the patient
and finally got one
the surgeon was unable to come and we were asked to come again on friday (which is today)
and today
we had our general medicine lectures first in hospital ampang before the ward round session
nothing much to be shared
but seriously
ward round is actually giving us better understanding of concepts and theories that being taught in class
so, enjoy this session before it's too late
poyo jek

tolong... i need teeth for perio simulation
teeth with calculus y'all

rabbi sahhilna

Monday, January 31, 2011

mOnDaY... it's monday!

today is my turn for cons clinic
monday is always a hectic day for clinical session
it turn out this way because
we turn out very stress on monday (sebab semua orang malas nak pergi sekolah)
our supervisors turn out very stress on monday (cikgu pun malas nak pergi sekolah)
and patients tend to cancel their appointment last minute on monday (patient pun stress nak pergi sekolah kitorang)

monday is somehow very unsuitable day for clinical session

it happen again
my patient cancelled the appointment
but at least i know that this patient is a very compliance patient
unlike the previous one..
so, i called my other patientS
in case they can come on the spot (sort of emergency patient la ni)
but as i expected
none of them can make it

i was wandering on the 15th floor menara b mpaj
and suddenly dr. zurairah asked whether any of us doesn't have patient for today's clinic
a 31 yo male coming to the clinic and willing to be treated by students
what a relief, Alhamdulillah

and there starts another e&d part I for cons clinic
and this was my first time taking pa radiograph for my patient (i only took several bw's before-jakun giler kot)

as i like to talk a lot
i talk so many things with my patient
his wife is a nurse
and these are some points that we talked

P: adik ni lama lagi ke belajar? ke dah tahun akhir?
K: urrrmmm saya tahun 3, nak masuk tahun 4
P: belajar 4 tahun ek??
K: tak la, we all belajar 5 tahun
P: oooo.. kira tak lama dah la ni?
K: iAllah, kalau tak de masalah apa, tak lama lagi saya habis belajar...
P: nanti adik jadi dr. la kan?
K: a.. dr. gigi
P: amek course ni memang minat ek?
K: (alamak.. camne nak jawab ni???huk huk) aaaaa... urmmmm.. nak kata minat tu takde la sangat... it's more to ..............
tetibe, dr. pun datang..


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

berita dah basi

dilanda kemalasan- tiada alasan kukuh

kg cheras baru, 7 dec- seorang pelajar fakulti pergigian u*** telah dikenalpasti menghadapi kemalasan yang teramat terutama menjelang hari khamis kerana perlu hadir ke klinik prosthodontics. beliau yang hanya ingin dikenali sebagai kucingred berkata bahawa beliau memang tidak menggemari klinik tersebut lantaran ketelitian yang diperlukan sepanjang proses penghasilan gigi palsu. selain itu, beliau yang sememangnya terkenal dengan kemalasan berkata bahawa beliau bukanlah seorang yang teliti, justeru mengurangkan lagi kesungguhan beliau dalam menghasilkan gigi palsu. tambahan pula, daya kreativiti yang rendah menyebabkan beliau tidak dapat membayangkan tanda tempat anatomi (anatomical landmark) pesakit beliau dengan baik. bagaimanapun menurut seorang pensyarah beliau yang tidak ingin dikenali, tiada alasan yang kukuh telah dinyatakan kucingred tentang kemalasan itu. seorang rakan beliau turut mengulas tentang sikap malas yang ternyata sudah sebati dengan jiwa beliau. rakan beliau yang hanya ingin dikenali sebagai W berkata "mungkin kehadiran seseorang yang istimewa dapat mengubah sikap kucingred." - ternama

Saturday, November 27, 2010

getting older

holla~

minggu ni terasa sangat panjang
walaupun baru minggu pertama setelah cuti sem
tapi perasaan seakan sudah berbulan-bulan bergelumang dengan kelas dan klinik
masakan tidak
klinik kami yang dulunya pada hari isnin dan khamis telah bertambah satu hari lagi
iaitu hari jumaat
klinik yang dahulunya conservative dentistry dan prosthodontics sahaja telah ditambah dengan oral surgery, periodontics dan paediatric dentistry
mengundang kepenatan dan kelesuan barangkali

klinik bertambah bermakna keperluan untuk mencari patient juga bertambah
berapa ramai rakyat malaysia yang tinggal berdekatan ampang yang memerlukan khidmat rawatan pergigian?
berapa ramai di antara kalian yang mempunyai masalah gigi berlubang?
berapa ramai antara anda yang perlu dicabut giginya?
berapa ramai dalam kalangan kanak-kanak yang punya kekuatan untuk berjumpa doktor gigi?

ya Allah,
permudahkan urusan kami

note: thanks to all for the birthday wishes and presents....to housemates, thanks sbb temankan makan steamboat and to seniors, thanks for the souvenirs from bandung...

love you guys..ukhwah fillah abadan abada!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

i just want to write...

it's already two and a half years
and to be specific
it's already five semesters i've spent my time studying here i suppose

five semesters
not too long to make me feel that i am old enough at the moment
yet not too short that i've created lots of things and experienced tonnes of memories including the bad one and not to mention the good one

i still remember the first time i got the offer letter to fod
making me feel like i was dreaming
dentistry
spell it D.E.N.T.I.S.T.R.Y
it was and still i suppose
something rare
it's not like rare in term of awkward or bizarre
it just a little bit deviate from the normal curve
that's it
making it become quite a lot differ and special i guess

during the orientation week
i'm telling the truth that i dislike biology
i still remember one of the trainee lecturer asked
"if you don't like biology, then why you choose dentistry as your first choice?"
and the reason for me choosing this faculty in the first place is still the same
and that particular trainee lecturer said
"if that's so, why don't......."
and me just stand still
and smile i guess hearing the trainee lecturer or the dentist saying that sentences
the next day
i'm going to the dentist, asking for a sign
a task for freshies
and the dentist asked
"you are the one who dislike biology, don't you?"- asking me confidently
and me without hesitate just nodding my head
"introduce yourself" the dentist instructed me
and asked several questions
and before i go the dentist called me and said
"well, dentistry is not merely about biology. it's the combination of sciences and you'll find it is an interesting field to be explored"

************************************************************************************

2 b continued

Friday, November 12, 2010

serabut

luahan hati kucingred lepas exam

Alhamdulillah,
kami dah selamat habis 13 papers untuk exam final sem satu
and to be honest
several papers were too difficult kalau nak compare ngan papers yang lain
papers tersebut adalah......
periodontology (muntah)
oral and maxillofacial surgery (muntah hijau)
prosthodontics (muntah darah)
oral pathology and oral medicine (muntah+nanges air mata darah)

ok
sangat kuciwa k
and
to make things 'happier'
tadi result mid sem keluar untuk subjek cons and pros -pelik tapi benar-
and guess what
saya GAGAL subjek pros
hati saya tak gembira sebab
saya gagal
and paper final ni pulak tak leh jawab
arrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
tekanan ok

takpe
exam dah habis
tunggu je la lepas cuti ni for the results
terima dengan hati yang terbuka ye kucingred

semoga kamu menjadi orang yang bersabar.....


tq kak ain and sarah for birthday present in advance...

sesiapa, saya nak buku armagedon 2012 untuk hadiah birthday saya nanti
harganya rm31++
juga mahu buku what your teacher didn't tell you rm40
pleeeeaseeeeeee!!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

perasaan ini.. susah nak tafsir..

Alhamdulillah, berkat izin serta rahmat Allah yang Maha Agung
we all dah selesai 10 papers or subjects untuk sem ni
tapi perlu diingatkan
masih berbaki 3 papers or subjects lagi
iaitu:
oral pathology oral medicine
general surgery
prosthodontics

tapi inilah masalahnya
makin ke penghujung, makin tiada mood untuk exam
makin sambil lewa

huhu
exam harini ngan semalam sangat terlalu amat disastrous
huhu....
bukan bermakna yang lain tu ok
tapi yang ini paling dasyat (buat masa ni)

dah lama tak de rasa tu
rasa blur
rasa tak tahu apa-apa
rasa....
even i cannot explain those feelings

kalau tak silap (kalau silap maafkan saya k)
kali terakhir saya rasa macam ni adalah masa jawab paper biochemistry and anatomy time first year dulu (of course to be specific paper anatomy sebab biochemistry first paper pro exam)
serius
saya tak tahu apa yang saya jawab
dan saya tak tahu apa yang saya tahu
perasaan yang sangat terlalu amat sukar untuk saya tafsirkan

besar sungguh dugaan dan pengorbanan yang perlu dihadapi untuk berjaya
tapi jangan mengalah
Allah takkan bebankan kita dengan something yang kita tak mampu kan?
semoga Allah permudahkan urusan saya dan kamu


"maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan,
sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan,
maka apabila engkau telah selesai (dari satu urusan) tetaplah bekerja keras (untuk urusan lain),
dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah engkau berharap"
(94:5-8)


Sunday, October 31, 2010

-xpress-

i might be mean to you
i might not nice to you
i might talking harsh words to you
i might not a good friend to you

before it's too late
before you cannot hear what i'm going to say
before i cannot say things that i wanted to
before we get separated

i would like to say

thank you for your existence
that shine up my life all this while

thank you for being by my side
along my happiness and sadness

thank you for your care
through difficulties and sickness

thank you for being my friend
for which it is irreplaceable

and i wanted you to know that

even it seems like i don't care
even it looks like i don't mind
even i didn't be a good listener
even i didn't give you a shoulder to cry on
even i didn't able to wipe your tears
even i didn't manage to make you smile

do know that i'm very poor in expressing my feelings

and i want to say this three words to you (but i am shy)


i love you


friends...


mmmm

right now
to be specific
at this moment
i don't want to go for another treatment
and to be specific
dental treatment

insyaAllah
tomorrow afternoon
i will finish the 5 day course of metronidazole a.k.a flagyl
and hopefully
there is no another course of antibiotics to be taken after this

Alhamdulillah
the severe pain is reduced
and it's changing in its pattern
now, i'm just having an intermittent pain
and pain on biting
even the pain still annoys me a lot
yet it improves
not disturbing my sleep
not disturbing my study
not causing me to cry
not causing me difficulties during biting (even though it's still pain on biting, yet it's far much better than before lor..)

and that is one of the reason that causing me avoiding another treatment
i am afraid that treatment will cause me to feel another series of pain
which this is my greatest concern in seeing a dentist at the moment

i am grateful right now
even the pain killer still does not kill the pain
but the pain is reduced and can be tolerated by myself

i'm hoping that the next appointment is going to be in the next semester
can or not?
because
i don't want to experience pain during the exam week
it's too much disturbing

thank you Allah
for giving me the opportunity to feel the pain
that makes me being grateful for the state of well being and healthy

thank you Allah
for another experience
another day
another test

Friday, October 29, 2010

hate dentists??

i am so lazy to study
so, i googled 'why people hate dentists'

and here some of the interesting points that i've found

1. the dentist's attitude

people think that dentists have the 'mean' attitude. they are not friendly and like to give instructions with harsh voices and make you feel like a child. when you complain of pain and discomfort, they DISREGARD and say "you wont be feeling any pain"

from my point of view
this is sooooo true. i've experienced this several times. and i was like wth, i'm the one who feels the pain not you. so, don't ever disregard patients feelings please

2. the feelings of vulnerable and helpless

from my point of view
this is true. when you sit on the dental chair, somehow there's a feeling of vulnerable. maybe it is due to supine position or it just the feeling of unsafe because someone is looking into your mouth and their face is like going to enter your mouth..

3. afraid of the needle

from my point of view
i am way too afraid of vaccine injections rather than dental injections because dental injections give us the feeling of numb

4. pain

one of the most common reasons for hating dentist.

from my point of view
i've experienced dental pain on my already-extracted-46, already non-vital due to trauma 21 and currently-undergoing-rct-35 and i guess the existing pain is not the reason for being afraid of the dentist but the pain after treatment. still i am afraid of dentist because of post operative pain. (one of our lecturers said "we are pain givers")

5. they just hate us

they just hate us. that is something that we can't do much

from my point of view:
lots of people telling their bad experiences and that is one of the contributing factors in hating dentists i guess. and one of the lecturers said "they never like me or you" and this just a fact that need to be digest and swallow by us.


if you want to know more why people hate dentists, google it yourselves and you'll find some funny and interesting info regarding this issue :)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

trauma or phobia

recently i have been in dental surgery for some treatment
but apparently, i am having a kind of trauma and phobia right now

anywhere i go and everywhere i sit
my olfactory nerve telling me that i am in a dental surgery
and the experiences of swallowing that sodium hypochloride made my taste buds telling me that i am still swallowing that solution

and frankly speaking
this condition annoys me a lot
all this while i never ever like dental surgery (but i am hoping that this will not last forever la)
and i really mean it

for all the dentists that work really hard to save my 35
i would like to express my gratitude to you guys for doing so
for all that being concern towards my tooth and pain
thank you so much for helping and being so nice
for all the advices and supports
may Allah bless you for doing so

thank you Allah
for another experience
another story
another day

doakan phobia and trauma saya cepat hilang


Thursday, October 7, 2010

i need to write

i have a very severe toothache
and it makes me feel like to go berserk
seriously,
it is not a pleasant thing to be experienced to

this pain is way too unbearable compared to previous pain
medication to be taken
antibiotic to be finished

classes to be attended
wire to be bended
exams to be think of
make the pain even worse

having the pain radiating to the ear, head and even eye
makes me feel like crying
and now
difficulties in opening mouth

the pain are not explainable
i only can say that it even worse than period pain

ya Allah,
tolonglah saya
final exam is just around the corner

tsk..tsk..tsk...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

exams and tests

a lot of paper this sem
a lot of things happen

during diagnostic and imaging & community dentistry examinations
my tooth was severely painful
i can't study at all due to that painful event

during paediatric dentistry paper
i am having allergy which the allergen still is not known
getting an injection and taking the medication from doctor- piriton
seriously doesn't help a lot
that piriton cause a severe sedation all day long
causing me to sleep during the exam for about 20 minutes i guess
the so called allergy is reduced yet still not totally recover

hey people
ramadhan is here
so, happy fasting to all
hope this ramadhan is going to be better than before
ramadhan kareem :)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

hey hey.....

oh my god!!!

ok, i don't know where to start this thing


ruby (bukan nama sebenar) is a girl
she has lots of friends either girls, boys or even pink lady type of person
she is very outspoken
well, it's just her and she is not being hypocrite (does she??)

most of the time,
she believe in her instinct
but somehow
for build good rapport
she ignore it

she's hardly hate people
unless there is/are reason/s for her to do so
but unfortunately
when she begin to hate
there's no way for her to like the person again

sigh...


macam mana ni???
how can i help her in this kind of situation???

hatred is like dental caries
it is irreversible
you just can prevent it from getting worse and remains that way
or it will aggressively become worse
or it just progress slowly to become worse
or the worst thing is it's going to cause deep pain and loss of something which is precious

think